A petition by the people of the internet.
Petition · Pending Federal Review
Ban Cold Email.
Every day, billions of “quick questions” flood the inboxes of hardworking people. We, the undersigned, demand that cold email be made a federal crime — and that “just bumping this up” carry a life sentence.
1,407have signed
Goal: 50,000 signatures
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Why this matters
The inbox was once a place of warmth — birthday wishes, baby photos, a note from an old friend. Today it is a battlefield. Below, the facts that demand action:
- The average professional receives 17 “just circling back” emails before noon.
- “Hi {First Name},” has been detected in 94% of inboxes nationwide.
- An estimated 4.3 billion “quick questions” are sent every single day. None of them are quick.
- Nobody — in the recorded history of email — has ever “hopped on a quick call to learn more.”
- “Re: our conversation” has been sent to people who have never had a conversation.
Voices of the affected
“I opened my inbox and saw “Hi [First Name].” I haven’t been the same since.”
“Someone followed up four times to “circle back” on an email I never received.”
“They said they’d only take 15 minutes. That was in 2019. I’m still on the call.”
The usual suspects
Subject lines that have caused untold suffering. Look upon them.
Quick questionRe: our call?Did you get my last email?Just circling backFollowing up (again)Idea for {Company}5 min next week?Are you the right person?Bumping this to the topPermission to close your file?Thoughts?Last try, I promise